


Blue Blur

by twerkteamlevi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Self Harm, trigger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 14:13:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1269424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twerkteamlevi/pseuds/twerkteamlevi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi finds little Eren hiding out in the barn in his new house. The two end up becoming frineds-in a way. Until one day something terrible happens to Levi, and its over a decade before they are able to speak again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Im not too sure if this will be multi chapter. If anyone likes it please le me know so I can decide if I'd like to continue.

Eren Jaeger loved to get into fights. The person could be twice his size, but he still stood up to anyone and everyone he ever met.  
That was, of course, before he met Levi Rivaille.   
When Eren had first met him, Levi was only 16, and Eren had immediately been afraid of him. Being 8 years old, he had already gotten use to being around people who he thought he would one day take down, however. But he somehow knew he could never hurt the raven-haired male.  
Levi had just moved into the small and silent town of Maria, on a farm directly across from Eren's families homestead. He had already unpacked, already out in the stables to clean it up before his parents brought his new horse in.   
He carried a small basket, one with dividers, and the only thing inside was cleaning supplies. Eren had created a hide out within the barn, since no one had lived within the large house for years.   
The young boy had a blanket set up in the very last stall, his favorite books tucked away beneath the feeding and water trough.  
Levi had not expected to find a little boy curled up in a ball, covered in mud and sleeping like a baby. He had dreaded waking the boy, so he began cleaning the other stables while he awaited for the child to awake. Eren, of course, had heard the raven haired teen in the stall directly next to him.  
"Who's there?! I'm warning you, I can...bite!" He had called out warningly.  
Levi peeked in on him, pulling down the cloth that was tied around his face, "Look, kid. You can keep your little hiding place here as long as you help me clean it."  
He had tilted his head, "Who says I'll do what you say! This hide out is mine!"  
The teen would groan softly, not realizing that this was only the beginning.   
~ "Levi! Wake up! Come on, you lazy butt! It's my birthday and you promised me a day of fun!" Eren whined, shaking Levi out of his haze of sleep.  
"Alright, alright. Shut it! I'm getting up."  
He had crawled out of bed, stretching his young and taut muscles. The boy sat on the bed, kicking his feet impatiently as Levi got dressed in the bathroom.  
The day was long, in Eren's point of view. Today was the day he turned 10, so he spent that Saturday with his best friend-and babysitter-and no one else.  
They had gone to breakfast, then spent all day seeing movies and going to arcades, and Eren swore not one day would be better in his whole life.  
"Can we listen to the radio?" Eren pleaded, calling out from the backseat as he stared out the window.  
"Sure brat, but just this once, got that? Don't think I'm spoiling you for the next 6 years."   
He switched on the radio, picking a channel he thought suit Eren best.  
"I love this song!" The boy had giggled, grinning from ear to ear.  
Levi had closed his eyes, for only a second, rubbing his temples to rid himself of the absolute pounding headache he had. He opened them, his eyes quickly growing wide as Eren shouted things he couldnt make out because of the ringing in his ears.  
Levi turned around, frantic as he saw fear flash through Eren's eyes.  
He could only manage a soft, "I'm so sorry," before the pick up truck hit them head on.  
~ Eren's eyes fluttered open, the loud ringing from his phone shocking him into consciousness.   
"Hello?" He said groggily.   
"Eren! Take a shower and get dressed! And fast. I've got a surprise for you," his sister, Mikasa, said quickly before hanging up.   
Technically, she was only his step sister, but she acted like his mom. Even though his mom was long gone.  
Eren groaned unhappily, rising slowly and cracking his neck. He grabbed his clothes for the day: dark jeans, a t-shirt with his favorite bands name plastered on the front, and boxers. He took very little time in the shower, towel-drying his hair once he had been finished.   
Eren heard his phone going off again, but chose to ignore it. He knew who it was. Besides, Eren was a growing boy-he needed breakfast. So he grabbed his phone and a jacket, slipping it on before grabbing his earbuds and jogging down stairs. He allowed himself a few moments to scarf down a bowl of cereal, and finish off an apple.  
"Eren!!! Let's go! We're gonna be late! And I still need to stop by the store!" Mikasa was banging on the door, shouting at him to hurry.  
He threw his dishes in the sink, going to the front door and opening it before stepping outside and closing it again. He turned, using his house key to lock the door.   
"Where are we going?" He asked as he got into the passenger's seat of the car.  
"First, flower shop. Then, hospital."  
"Flowers? Why would we need flowers? Did dad get a promotion or something?" He put in an earbud, turning the volume to a reasonable level.  
"Well...I'll tell you later, alright? I need you to run inside and find some nice flowers," she sighed, parking in the small lot outside the flower shop, where a bakery stood next door, and also a movie-rental store. She handed him a 20, "Make sure they're nice. This is important."  
He snorted, "I can tell. $20 is a lot for flowers."   
"Just go. We have to hurry."   
She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she waited for Eren, biting her lip nervously. He came back a few minutes later, holding a bouquet filled with hues of pink and red, and a variety of types of flowers as well.  
It took about twenty minutes for them to finally get to Grace Health Hospital. And it took them another ten to get inside and up to the intensive care unit.   
Eren grinned widely, but it quickly faded, "Why are we bringing him flowers? They'll only die," he looked down as he walked, his feet knowing exactly where to take him since he had done this so many times before. The brunette sighed, holding the bouquet in his arms gently, as if he felt he would crush them.  
"Hey, I have to meet with Jean for lunch, if you want you could come with," she offered him a half smile.  
"No thanks. I'd rather be here than with horse-face," he rolled his eyes, pushing open the door to one of the private rooms, "Tell him I say hi."  
"Alright," she grinned once he had closed the door, turning and strutting down the hallway like she had just taken over the world.  
"Hey," Eren muttered, setting the flowers on the table next to the hospital bed before sitting down in a chair placed near there.   
"Sorry I haven't been here the past few days. Its Christmas break now, you know. So...your birthday is coming up soon," he rest his head on Levi's shoulder, closing his eyes.  
Eren stared at him, taking notice how much different he looked than from when he was a kid, and not for the first time. Levi's body was thin, and worn down. He could make out the lines of his rib cage through his hospital gown, and felt how cold he was. Eren knew his time was growing short. It had been 13 years since the accident, and Eren was amazed Levi had lasted this long-but he was glad he had. Every time he looked in the mirror, he would glare at himself, wishing he was the one in a coma, and not Levi. It could have been him. It /should/ have been him. The life support wasn't going to last much longer-the doctors had said so- and Eren knew that. So did Levi's family, and they had told Eren they were going to pull the plug on New Year's day.   
"Please...wake up...I...don't want to lose you. You can't just go and abandon me li-"  
"Shut it...brat."  
Eren sat bolt upright, his eyes growing wide from the sound of someone's voice. It was quiet, barely above a whisper, but all the same, it was real.  
"L-Levi?" His eyes quickly filled with tears as he took Levi's hand, "I have to be dreaming..."  
"No...you aren't. Will you...just shut up...and get me some water?" He kept his eyes shut, the light from the window hurting his them, "And close those damn blinds. Also...are you sick? You sound...different."  
Eren moved to close the blinds, wiping his tears away with his sleeve, "Um...yeah. Sorta. How are you feeling?"  
"Sore, but also stiff...its hard to move, and it requires a lot of...concentration...speaking in general...is a pain in the ass," he muttered. "Damn it, could you get me another blanket? Its freezing in here."  
"I bet," he smiled joyfully, his face stained with tears as he threw the blanket over Levi's small figure, "Why don't you get some rest?"  
"Psh. The doctor already made me sleep another three hours. I don't have time to lay around here all the time. I've missed school. How long have I been gone? Ugh...I'll have so much to do."  
Eren gulped, chuckling nervously, "You're too old for high school, Levi. Way too old."  
"What? I'm only 17-"  
"No, Levi. You're 30. You've been in a coma for 13 years."


	2. Awaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blah Levi woke up. Short chapter sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some swearing, sorry the chapter is so short. Im really tired and with school and my other story (STU) Ive been busy writing. Bear with me with the slow stuff. I promise the next chapter will be action packed.

"Are you fucking serious?" His eyes flew open, staring at the boy-no, man, before him.

Levi's thoughts raced as he sat up. There was no way he missed 13 years of Eren's life. There was no way he had been in a coma for that long. No way...no way...no way. 

"Levi! Levi, calm down! If you dont lay back down I'll have to call the nurses in," Eren took his hand, trying to get him to stop ripping off the IVs and heart monitors.

He hadn't realized he had been doing that, so he dropped his hands to his sides. Dizziness overwhelmed him as he laid his head back.

"How could...I have...what about my family? My brother? What about my girlfriend? You?" 

"Your brother is out in Iraq...he graduated and I'm sure he'll be on his way home as soon as possible. Your parents are at home, same place as always. As for your girlfriend...she left for college a while back. Said that...she couldnt handle waiting for you anymore...and me...well, I never got tired of waiting. But I was the only one who ever came to visit you...every day. I just...woke up a little late this morning."

Levi squeezed his eyes shut, "Thanks, brat. That means a lot...so...how old are you now?"

"Um...23...going to school online, actually. I'm...gonna try and become a teacher."

"Tch...doesn't surprise me," Levi couldn't help but smile, but to him it felt like it took all his effort for just that one little thing.

"Wow, hey, are you okay? You just got really pale...jeese, you probably need some food," Eren started to stand, but Levi grabbed his hand before he could, "Get the nurses to do it. I don't want to be...alone...right now."

He nodded, ducking his head down to hide his blush, "I'll stay...as long as you eat something."

Levi nodded, "Get me some damn tea. And the good stuff...like you use to make."

"Levi!" His eyebrows shot up, "I haven't made tea since I was 10!"

"So? I still want a cup."

"You eat first. Then I can run home and make you some."

"Did you not hear what I said? I’m not letting you leave."

"Then how am I supposed to make you tea?" Eren frowned, sitting down on the edge of the bed again.

He scrunched up his nose, sighing, "At least wait til I'm asleep. Then you can go...but you better be back before I wake up."

"And if I'm not?" He joked.

Levi rolled his eyes, "You're still such a kid, Eren." 

He stared at him expectantly, his eyes a much deeper green-blue than Levi remembered. He definitely answered his question for some other reason, however.

"Nothing. Now hurry up and get the nurses to bring me some food. I feel like a fucking twig."

"You are," Eren snickered, poking his side. 

He jumped before glaring at him, "Stop it, brat."

Eren bit his lip, sighing as he leaned down, hesitating before kissing Levi's forehead, "I'll be right back."

Levi held back a smile, keeping himself from blushing, "You can't leave me either, kid."


	3. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finally gets out of the hospital after a month, deciding to spend time with Eren after resting at home for a few weeks. (Sort of sad but then it gets happy?) #triggers

It was harder than he had thought, stopping his old habits so suddenly. Sure, he never thought it would be easy, but he never knew it would be this hard.  
Eren's hands were shaking. He was nervous about having Levi come over. Everything still seemed so surreal. The fact that he was back-sort of, he had only been out of the hospital for a few weeks after having spent another month there. The fact that Levi would be in his room, watching movies with him, was surreal.  
He took a deep breath, standing up to jog downstairs to answer the door. Levi stood outside, a bag slung over his shoulder as he muttered something about how cold it was.  
Eren let him inside, hugging him after he closed the door.  
"Do you want to eat something?"  
"Nah. I went to lunch with Petra before I came over."  
"Oh, its nice that you two are catching up again," the brunette forced a smile, walking upstairs and to his room.  
It was like any normal college student's room: a bed cluttered with books, a shelf stuffed with even more books, a dresser with clothes neatly tucked inside, and of course, a bathroom still a part of the room.  
"About that-" Levi began.  
"You dont have to hang out with me if you'd rather spend time with her."  
"Brat, listen-" he tried again.  
"Levi, if you want to leave you can."  
"It was my idea to hang out with you again. I want to be here. I'm not with Petra anymore."  
"Y-you aren't?"  
"No. I told her she can't take me back because I want to be with someone else. I wouldn't have admitted it before because you were so young. But now you're over 18 and its legal."  
"Legal for what?" Eren stared at him as he sat on the bed.  
"This," Levi straddled his lap, cupping the brunette's face in his hands as he kissed him.  
This kiss was nothing like Eren had ever had before. Sure, he had ones before getting hot and heavy with one of his exes, Jean. Those were always rough, forced ones, caused by extreme teenage hormones.  
This, however, was gentle. It was sweet. It stopped time. It made everything seem like a dream. It made Eren feel like he was floating on a cloud.  
Eren knew exactly why it was so spectacular. It was because it was from the one person he had ever been in love with. The only person he had true and real feelings for: Levi.  
"Levi," he muttered after he had pulled away.  
"Shut it, brat. I need this."  
Eren grabbed both of the smaller male's hands, "So do I."  
Levi went back to kissing him, pushing him back on the bed. The brunette kissed back, but after a moment he pulled away.  
"Levi, I need to tell you something."  
"Shit. Do you not want this?"  
"No, I do, I do!" He waved his hands frantically, sitting up quickly as Levi moved to sit next to him.  
"What is it?" Levi's face remained blank, but inside he was panicking. Had he done something wrong? Had he gone too far? Was Eren mad at him for what happened? A million possibilities raced through his mind. But Levi kept his face stoic.  
"I...sometimes...ever since the accident...I thought the whole thing was my fault, and that it should have been me in the hospital, not you. So...ever since then...I thought...I...hurt myself...I blame myself for what happened and...I'm sorry I'm so weak. My mother died a year after you went into a coma, and it was hard without you. You were my best friend. Besides Armin...and even then, he left, too. I'll try and be strong, though! I'll stop being so pathetic and prove to you how strong I am," by now there were tears in Eren's eyes, overflowing and running down his cheeks.  
Levi felt like someone had just slapped his face, waking him up from a wonderful dream- one where he could just come back to his life and everything would be the same as when he left it. Maybe better.  
He had sensed something different in Eren-besides him being older- that he wasn't as cheery and annoying as his usual self. He had also noticed the fact that Eren would wear long sleeves in 80 degree weather.  
Levi wrapped his arms around Eren, something that surprised even himself.  
Eren had expected anger, disappointment, maybe even aggression. But what he had not expected, was love, and concern.  
This only made him cry harder.  
"Eren...it doesnt make you weak. Calm down, alright? I'm gonna be here for you. For as long as you need me. And even after that. Just...stop crying."  
Eren nodded slowly, wiping his eyes before looking back up at Levi, "I...I'm sorry."  
"No apologizing, either, brat."  
He laughed softly, "Alright, alright." The brunette bit his lip, "Now...where were we?"  
He smirked, kissing the corner of Eren's mouth, "Hm, somewhere about..." Levi moved to kiss along his jaw, "here."  
Eren flushed, "I could get use to this."  
"Me too, kid."  
"Gonna make a habit of doing this?"  
"I'll make it a habit of doing you," Levi smirked, pushing him back on the bed.  
"Oh? And what makes you think I'll let you?"  
"By the way you're face looks right now, and the fact that your hands are totally groping my ass, I think you'll let me, " Levi retorted, smirking.  
"Shut it, midget," Eren flushed, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him into a kiss.


	4. A New Beginning(Or at least an attempt)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is doing his best to recover for Levi...and Levi does his best to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long needed(and awaited???) update. Its short, and there is a bit of self harm, but it gets happy near the end. I promise Ill finish this story ASAP.

Since Mikasa was probably at Jean's house, Eren told Levi he could sleep over.  
Currently, he was holding the smaller male in his arms, watching him sleep peacefully.  
Eren knew it was probably around 1 in the morning, since it was still dark outside.  
He reached his free hand-the one that Levi wasn't clinging to- up to run his hand through Levi's hair. He sighed, but in a happy way, realizing he hadn't been this happy since before his parents were gone.  
Levi was a lot healthier. Not as skinny, definitely less pale. He was his old self.  
In the month since he had gotten out of the hospital,  he had been finishing high school online. His brother had visited him a few times, and since had gotten his family to help him find a place to live.  
Levi's apartment was only a 15 minute walk from Eren's house, so sometimes the brunette would walk over to visit him.  
Eren got up silently, having to pull himself from Levi's grip. He had let his mind slip back to thoughts of his mother, one of the few things that made him cut.  
He tiptoed over to the bathroom, closing the door silently behind him. Mikasa had taken the lock off the door, knowing about Eren's bad habits. She wasn't there to watch him  all the time, but when she was, she made sure to check in on him almost every hour.  
The brunette started the shower, grabbing his box of blades and taking out a fresh one.  
He was already breaking his promise to Levi.  
But he didn't care at the moment.  
He slid it from the package, undressing before sitting down in the tub. He stared down at his already scarred arm, comteplating the consequences.  
Eren did this every time: thought about what would happen if he went through with it, told himself it wasnt worth it, and proceeded to do it anyways.  
He pressed to blade against his skin hard, not hearing the door open. He was on his third cut by the time Levi had scooped him up and out of the falling  water.  
"Hey now, what happened to staying strong, brat?" The smaller male whispered.  
"I...I didn't...I'm so-"  
"Hush," Levi wrapped a towel around his shoulders, drying him off. "Come on, get dressed. Its spring break, so neither of us has school. We can sleep in, okay?"  
Eren nodded, tugging on a shirt and boxers.  
Levi took his arm in his hands, cleaning it and wrapping it tightly.  
"What were you thinking, hm?" he began. Eren knew what he would come next. Dissapointment. Anger. Resentment.  
"You can't take showers when your half awake. Especially without telling me. What if you'd fallen asleep and drowned?"  
"Wouldn't have been the worst thing," Eren muttered.  
Levi glared at him, "Go lay down." Levi left the bathroom, walking out of his bedroom entirely.  
After he was gone for more than 5 minutes, Eren was wworried he wouldn't ever come back.  
He finally came back in, holding a small bag in his hand.  
"What's that?" Eren tilted his head.  
"Tch. Be patient, brat, he sat down next the older, but taller male, "Hold out your hands, and close your eyes."  
Eren rose an eyebrow, questioning him but not arguing. He did as he said, and it seemed like forever before Levi placed the gift in his hands.  
It wasnt in the bag any more, and the way it felt in his hands made him nervous.  
"Don't freak, kid, because it isn't what you think it is," Levi bit his lip, nervous nonetheless.  
Eren opened his emerald green eyes to gape at the petite box in his hands, "Levi?" he questioned.  
This was not what he had expected. Not at all.  
"Just open it, Eren," he knew Levi was being completely serious because he used his actual name


	5. A Promise Broken, and A Promise Kept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finds the gift Levi has gotten for him, and is shoked to find whats inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to update more. Blah...I try! I just need support(it is much appreciated from everyone who reads my updates!). I know the story is a little dry, and I'm doing my best to amp it up a little, but I'm not sure where to go from here. Hopefully I'll have another chapter done by next week!

Eren decides that not eating dinner last night was a good choice, because otherwise he would have vomitted.  
But all he could do was turn completely pale and struggle to breathe.  
"Can you say something, Eren? Anything?" Levi tries to look into his eyes, but the brunette stares down at his hands like nothing else but his palms matter.  
Its almost ten minutes later that he finally responds, "I...what is it?"  
"It's not a wedding ring, brat. It's only a promise ring. Christ, you're so dramatic," he scoffed.  
The color returned to Eren's face, causing him to blush, "I...um..."  
"Use your words. You're a big boy now."  
Eren pouted, rolling his eyes, "And you're a smartass now."  
"Wasn't I always?" Levi shrugged, taking Eren's right hand in his own, placing the plain silver band on his ring finger. "Now, I may be a smartass, but I am not a romantic. So I'm going to put this is the most simplistic terms for you: you know I care about you, but I need to know you are willing to care about yourself as well as me."  
"I do care about yo-"  
"Hush, brat. I need YOU to care for yourself. Understand that?"  
Eren couldn't think of anything to say in response, so he just nodded.  
"Good. It'd be hell trying to explain that to you. And way too much work," he rubbed his temples with his free hand before continuing, "If you want to stay with me, you'll promise to do that. No more hurting yourself. No more skipping meals because you're too exhausted to get out of bed. No more running away. No more late nights being drunk. If you accept this ring, you make that promise, and you promise to stay with me by doing so. Do you understand?"  
Eren bit his lip, watching Levi's face carefully.  
"You don't have to answer right now. I have to go back to my apartment and study for a test later today. But I'd like to have an answer by this weekend, alright?"  
Eren gulped, "I understand," he watched as Levi stood to leave, grabbing his arm suddenly, "Levi?"  
He paused, but he didn't turn back to look at Eren.  
"What if I can't make that promise?"  
Levi turned around quickly, and Eren could swear he saw tears brimming in the older man's eyes as he spoke, "Then obviously our relationship isn't helping you."  
"So...what does that mean?" Eren dropped his arms as Levi turned his back once again.  
"Then...then we're done."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Super short. Well, I hope you guys like it! This should allow me to make the next few chapters a little more interesting! Please leave positive comments!!!!


	6. Is this a decision? Probably not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Eren struggles with deciding if he can make the promise to Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW. Its been a while since. I last updated. I think what I'm gonna do is finish the story all at once(within the next month) and then post it slowly. Also! Triggers in this chapter: swearing, mentions of self-harm, suicidal adiations, etc.

Eren lay in bed, staring up at his ceiling as the moon cast dark shadows across his room. It illuminated in a way that made him safe, but still scared.   
It had been exactly 15 days since he last talked to his boyfriend...or whatever he was. Eren was unsure at the moment.   
He bolted upright, tearing of his covers and he began to pace his room.   
Eren had chosen to keep his cellphone off the past two weeks: classes were over, and he was on break for three months. The only person he really talked to on break was Mikasa and she came to see him once a week, knowing Eren could never get groceries for himself.  
In the two weeks he hadn't talked to Levi, he had left the house once, and it was to fix the heater outside.   
Quite simply, Eren was a fucking mess.   
Never before would he have thought that he would end up like this. As a kid, he dreamed of growing up and teaching kids that they could make a difference in their lifes by learning new things every day. He dreamed of traveling to new places every Christmas-hopefully with Levi. He dreamed of growing up and turning out to be a confident and constant member of society.  
But then they got into the accident. Eren with a few broken ribs, some scratches, and a mild case of whiplash. But Levi...he had ended up trapped in a transic state all through Eren's teenage years.   
Up until a few months ago. He had planned on finally moving on-going to therapy, finishing school within the year, finding a job teaching somewhere new.   
Eren Jaeger, quite frankly, wasn't sure if Levi waking up was a good thing or a bad thing.  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
The small black haired male took a deep breath as he knocked on Eren's door.   
He hadn't heard from Eren in weeks. He was afraid Eren had done something...regrettable.   
The door was flung open, and all Levi saw in the darkness was an already retreating figure. He watched silently, as he closed the door, the other male fall back onto the couch.   
"Eren, I haven't heard from you in weeks. I've been so worried, and I didn't want to bother you. Mikasa told me to leave you alone for a bit, that you just needed time to think. But Jesus, Eren, I thought you were..."  
He saw Eren cringe visibly in the darkness, like hearing any voice but his own was a new experience to him. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch, sighing audibly.  
"Thought what? Thought I was dead? Yeah, well now you know how I felt when you were gone."  
"You can't use the accident against me, brat," Levi snapped. Shit, he had sounded too harsh and he knew how Eren would react.  
"I fucking waited for you, Levi! For over 5 YEARS. And you're complaining about two weeks?"  
"You know that wasn't my fault, Eren," Levi voice was calm now, and he squinted in the darkness as he stared at the brunette.  
"I know," his shoulders shook, and he started to rock back and forth, "I know, I know, I know. It...it was mine...if I hadn't been messing around...you wouldn't have gotten a headache and its all my fault...I ruined your life..."  
Levi finally gave into his resolve, moving to wrap his arms around the much larger male, "I'll wait for you Eren. I just needed to know...I had to make you were ok myself."  
Eren was limp in his embrace, "What if I can't make that promise to you, then? You'll just wait until I can? What if I never can?"  
"No. I'll wait until you've finished school. Until you've gone to therapy. I' wait until you're stable, on your own terms and not mine. I will wait, no matter how long."  
Eren pulled away to look up at him. The moonlight made Levi's eyes look like an ice blue sea, "I want to. I want to make the promise so badly, Levi. But I...I already can't hold true to it..."  
The brunette leaned to turn on the small lamp on the table beside the couch.   
Levi saw exactly what Eren had done.  
There were two white bandages on each of his arms. One on each of his forearms, and one more on each of his upper arms.  
He couldn't ever breathe when he knew Eren did these things-because of him.  
He took the brunette's hands into his own, looking straight into his eyes, "I love you. You're alive. That's all that matters to me. As long as you are alive and breathing, I will wait."  
Eren stood suddenly, swaying a bit as he did, "And what if I'm not alive?" He muttered it so quietly, Levi nearly missed it.   
He watched in complete and utter terror as Eren fell to the ground with a heavy thud, that rang in Levi's ears as if it were thunder.


	7. Black out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi does his best to help Eren, but he feels like its never going to get anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! Two chapters within a week! I think this the finale, guys! I may write a prologue or something or maybe make this a series? I'll have to see. I hadn't planned on ending it here but I got writitng and couldn't stop. Thanks to those who have kept up with this(after over a year). Let me know what you think? Also, don't hate me? (ANGST LIKE CRAZY)

Levi couldn't help but speed on the way to the hospital, knowing that the male blacked out in the passenger seat was close to comatose-something he didn't want Eren to experience.  
He resisted the urge to glance over and check on the boy, too nervous to cause an accident-after the last one, he didn't want take too many risks.  
His chest was tight as he parked his car by the emergency entrance, shoving his keys in his pocket before going around to scoop the brunette up and carry him inside.  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
Levi sat completely still by Eren's hospital bed.  
He had somehow managed to get Eren there just in time, the doctor had told him. Any later and he would have lost him for sure.  
Now he knew exactly how Eren had felt:  
Chest tight with the pain of not knowing, not being able to make sure he was ok;  
Mind racing with a thousand possible outcomes, each one worse than the last;  
Body totally exhausted, but needing to stay awake because what if he woke up? Or died in his sleep.  
And Levi knew why Eren had struggled so much, because the pain was unbearable. How he managed to wait that long? Levi could hardly last an hour without breaking down. Which he had, twice. Once as he carried Eren in side, screaming out what happened and watching them take Eren away on a gurney.  
The second time? Only a few hours after that when the doctor had told him Eren would be alright. But he needed therapy, "Or he'll probably act on this again," the do tor had said.  
He wasn't sure if those tears were complete relief or regret because he was losing Eren so quickly, after getting him back.  
It was 3:00am now, the emergency room nearly silent except for an old man with a shattered hip the next room over.  
Levi's heart nearly stopped when he felt Eren's fingers twitch against his own-he had been holding his hand since just after they had finished pumping his stomach and giving him about 100 stitches in each arm.  
He lifted his head from where it had been resting against the side of the bed, close enough to Eren to feel at least a little comforted by his presence.  
He heard the brunette groan and he sat up straight, studying Eren's face intently.  
His eyes fluttered open, half-lidded as he scanned the room, his eyes widening as he gaze landed on Levi.  
"What...I didn't..." He fumbled with his words, hands trembling as he started wringing them nervously. He didn't look away from Levi though.  
Levi shook his head, taking both Eren's hands into his own, "It's fine. You don't need to apologize. I'm just so happy you're ok and-"  
Eren stopped listening.  
"It's fine," Levi had said.  
All he had heard was enough to tell him...well, exactly what he needed to know.  
"Eren...Eren!" Levi raised his voice slightly, trying to get his attention.  
"O-oh..." The brunette finally let his focus remain on Levi.  
"They said you have to go therapy. And possibly in-patient as well. I asked him if I was taking care of you, and there was improvement within a couple weeks, that you could just stay at home. I'll take off school and I'll devote every minute to helping you get better, and-"  
"Levi!" Eren snapped, yanking his hands from the other male's, "I just wanna go home."  
"They said you could go home in a few hours. I had to move my car, so the parking lot is across the street. I can see if they can get you a wheel chair, maybe?" He suggested.  
"I can walk on my own, Levi," his eyes snapped away quickly, focusing on a suddenly interesting spot on the wall.  
He sighed, moving to sit next to him on the bed, "I know you're not a kid anymore, Eren. But...you need someone right now. And I want to be that someone, ok?"  
He nodded, "I guess."  
"I need you to say it."  
"Say what?"  
"Tell me that you'll let me help you."  
"I'll let you help me," he muttered, shrugging.  
Levi wrapped his arms around him tightly.  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
By 9:00am Levi was grasping Eren's hand tightly, the brunette dressed in a new set of clothes Levi had brought back for him.  
The smaller male led him to the elevator, his face lit with relief. Eren stumbled alongside him, his mind on only one thing.  
Eren pulled his hand away, his excuse was to itch at one of his bandages on his arms.  
He looked pale, Levi noted.  
"Do...do you want me to pull the car up for you?"  
He leaned against one of the pillars holding the awning for the hospital emergency entrance, nodding slowly.  
This was his chance.  
Levi bit his lip, "You'll be ok on your own?"  
"Tch, like you said earlier, I'm not a kid."  
Levi laughed softly, barely a breath, "Sure act like one, brat."  
He turned on his heel, his stomach still vaguely nervous. He figured he was still upset about everything that happened-  
That was, until he heard a car slamming on its breaks, and the sound of someone screaming.  
He whipped around quickly. He had only crossed the street. Where had Eren gone it that time? He couldn-  
Oh dear god, Levi thought.  
He looked to his left, where he had heard the sound of someone being hit by a car.  
Never had Levi run faster in his life. And directly towards the chaos errupting. A crowd surrounding whoever had gotten hit. He couldn't see. He NEEDED to see.  
"Is he ok?"  
"I didn't see him! He just ran out in front of me. There isnt even a crosswalk here..."  
He heard several voices talking.  
"MOVE!" He growled.  
Half the crowd jumped away, and the other half quickly followed. Only one person leaned over the body lying on the ground, which was quickly being covered in blood.  
Levi took a step closer, and immediately burst into tears.  
The person leaning over Eren-the driver-turned to look at him.  
"Oh my god, do you know him?"  
Levi just nodded, pushing past them to kneel next to the one person he had ever loved-who was dying.  
"They're calling an ambulance now! The hospital is right down the road..."  
Levi stopped listening.  
Eren had opened his eyes. God, did Levi love those eyes.  
They were the ocean and Levi felt like he was drowning in them and really he was just floating.  
Eren was saying something. And he leaned for and saw the brunette was crying.  
"I...I didnt..." He stammered, sobbing without his shoulders even moving.  
Levi shook his head, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He let his forehead rest against Eren's and he let the sobbing fill his ears as he closed his eyes...  
~.~.~.~.~  
One second, he was kneeling in a street. The next, he woke up in a hospital. He sat up suddenly, looking around frantically for a familar face.  
He found one, but it wasn't the one he reall wanted to see.  
"Erwin?" His brother stared at him with wide eyes, rushing over to hug him.  
"What happened? Did I pass out after he got hit?"  
"You're the one who got hit, Levi."  
"But Eren..."  
"His dad just picked him up from school and he's coming here right now. He should be here soon, actually. He's been coming here every day since the accident-the kid stuck it out for 6 weeks and dear god, Levi... We missed you..."  
"WAIT? What? 6 weeks? God damn...again? And Eren...he...he's ok?"  
"Physically, yeah. Kid's tough. Just a few broken ribs and a couple scratches. Needed some stitches-"  
Levi sighed, leaning his head back as he realized something suddenly, "You're back? I thought you were overseas?"  
"Man, Levi. You don't remember anything?"  
"I thought...you were...and Eren...he..."  
Levi's heart was pounding, his head throbbing as he clutched it in his hands.  
"Maybe I should get the doctor..." His brother muttered.  
The small male started to say something when he heard a familiar voice.  
"But daaaaaaadddyyy," the owner of the voice whined, "he could wake up soon and I just want to see him."  
Levi dropped his hands, his head snapping upward. He couldn't see into the hallway very well since the curtain was pulled closed.  
"Is that-" he muttered.  
Levi sword his heart stopped for a moment.  
Because standing right there in the doorway, was an 11-year old Eren with a huge smile on his face.


End file.
